They say Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did but backwards and in high heels. His technically brilliant steps and jumps in brogues and a suit were matched by hers in a feather-festooned gown and tiny shoes.
The corporate world is in some ways a reflection of this. I read about the challenges faced by women in business all the time and I wanted to take this opportunity to celebrate the brilliance of these high-achieving individuals.
We’re master navigators.
Like Ginger, we’re dancing to the same tune as Fred but handling a different set of variables. Not only do I observe this done with flair but I also witness the lengths women go to to navigate impossible circumstances while attempting to change the system.
So if this is you, I see you, I hear you. You’re still showing up despite unconscious and more explicit pressures around you as well as the external and internal struggles that stand in your way.
What are these issues, how are you smashing through them and what can we do to eradicate them altogether? Wouldn’t that make for a better future?
You’re not broken.
You're still achieving brilliance despite:
Being scrutinised more closely. The Harvard Business Review reports that ‘studies have found that because women operate under a higher-resolution microscope than their male counterparts do, their mistakes and failures are scrutinised more carefully and punished more severely’.
This leads to perfectionism, which in turn leads to burnout.
Fighting societal expectations. The same HBR article examined several studies on how men and women are treated when they start a family. Women were expected to want to err on the side of family and ratchet back on work while men were expected to want to limit their time at home or use an under-the-radar approach to reduce work or travelling, The reality is that when questioned, both men and women had similar family and career handling desires.
Imposter syndrome. Forbes reports that 75% of female executives still question their worthiness. As a result, time and energy is spent chasing qualifications, courses and job jumping just to feel good enough.
Loneliness and isolation. Challenging stereotypes in the workplace and the harm they cause, the above HBR article states that ‘women are less embedded in networks that offer opportunities to gather vital information and garner support.’ This leads to filling the hole in other people’s boats despite the feeling that your own is sinking.
If you’ve been left answering the phones and loading the dishwasher while your fellow execs are networking and career-building on the golf course, I see you. I see you showing up and excelling despite this.
How do you cope?
In my time as a leader, manager and now a coach I’ve seen healthy and not-so-healthy coping mechanisms in my time. These include:
Alcohol, food and substance use issues.
Binge-watching, doom scrolling and retail therapy.
Overworking.
These things work well to temporarily numb the negative feelings but over time, they deepen the problem.
If you become a workaholic, for example (often ironically applauded in our culture) you may refuse to take sick leave. You only stop when you hit a wall – often when the damage has already been done.
What you can do before you get there? How do you climb out of the hole? I have a few tips.
Establish healthy boundaries and learn how to work in sync with your body. Masie Hill’s groundbreaking work Period Power discusses how to harness a female body’s cyclical power. This means working out how to navigate our nature within the masculine linear model of work. Hopefully one day we won’t have to jump through these hoops anymore.
Have a reality check at home. Outsource whatever you can and make sure everyone is pulling their weight. If not, why not? Do some mindset shifts need to happen?
I find it helpful to spend more time in my feminine energy, rather than the masculine but you must find the right balance for you. For me, this means prioritising and caring for myself as much as I would do for others and going with the flow more. At the end of the day, it's my personal choice. Do what feels authentically good for you inside. If someone is telling you to be more of X and less of Y, ask how it serves them, what stereotypes are behind it and whether it is actually helpful.
Seek help for the bigger issues you can’t handle alone. You’re not just the lynchpin that holds everything together – you’re a human being. It’s not something we prioritise when we’re under pressure but your health should be your number one concern. (And if this gives you a niggle in the pit of your stomach, please reach out to me for help.)
Recognise the parts of the problem that are environmental. If you’re finding it tough, perhaps it’s because you’re dancing backwards and in high heels.
Good for you, good for business.
This is key. If all women checked in, asked the bigger questions and drew their boundaries, things would be better for everyone.
Good for your energy levels. Putting yourself front and centre again wipes away the fatigue that comes with burnout. It’s not an overnight fix but doing what’s good for you and reorganising your priorities will turn the ship around.
Excellent for leadership. You lead better when you’re showing up confidently and authentically. Think of the benefit for teams, productivity and other’s well-being.
Great for clarity. Job jumping brings a whole raft of issues with it. It leaves you unclear about what you want and the constant moving is unsettling. Think of the energy wasted, skills left underdeveloped and trauma caused. Think of the energy you’d reclaim if you spent your time moving towards something you want rather than running from something you don’t.
Fantastic for showing up as yourself. This creates better relationships and allows you to call things out – which makes life better for everyone. You’ve got a greater handle on what you stand for (and what you don’t) and people are more likely to respect you for it.
A fruitful space for role modelling. When you can be honest and open about who you are, everyone else around you is more settled. By unmasking yourself others feel like they can too. We waste less energy in shame and more in forging sound working relationships and healthy work practices.
Excellent for optimal business performance. A McKinsey report found that ‘Companies with more than 30 percent women executives were more likely to outperform companies where this percentage ranged from 10 to 30, and in turn these companies were more likely to outperform those with even fewer women executives, or none at all.’
A transformation we’d all benefit from.
Change to corporate culture is happening slowly and the sad reality is that organisations are turning a blind eye to gender equality issues and instead seem to be reaping the benefits from the extra effort and work women have to put in to compete, whilst giving very little in return.
In my mind, this is a false economy. Think of the achievements women are already making despite having the cards stacked against them. What could we unlock if we ploughed all the energy, resilience and creativity women use to navigate the system into innovation, productivity and leadership?
There’s nothing wrong with unleashing your Ginger Rogers energy once in a while but I applaud the women also deciding when it’s time to wear the flats and lead the dance.
